Baby Envy, Attempt #2

This aquantince of mine mentioned in my previous post spoke longingly about having a baby sometime around when I had my oldest more than five years ago. That she had to yearn and pine for her pregnancy makes me ache, especially because my husband basically only had to look at me sideways to get me knocked-up. I have been truly blessed (and very lucky) to have only become pregnant when I wanted to be, and on both of those ocations, I got pregnant right away.

The struggle of women who are not as easily satisfied in their family planning as I was leave me longing. While I realize there is no need for me to fall on my sword for my reproductive success, I can imagine the agony and daily stress the longing for a child could bring to an adult life or an adult relationship, and I am sorry that this pain has to exisit in the world. I am sorry that people who want to have children are sometimes unable to do so, and that others only find success at the end of many cycles of tremendously expensive treatments and medications. Money paid to chase hope can be a painful payment indeed.

So, to the moms-to-be who stuggled to get pregnant, I honor your struggle and commend your success, and to those who have tried (and tried and tried and tried) and failed, my heart goes out to you, and I pray that you may find the love and fulfillment you deserve in this world. May it be so.

Comments

Post a Comment

Thank you very much for your comment! I look forward to approving it.

Popular posts from this blog

In the stairway

I am sitting in the stairway between the first and second floors of my appartment building. Why would I be doing that, you ask? Well, apparently this is how Evan has chosen to punish me for taking away his screen time. Because taking away screen time is punishment. For everybody. We came to an agreement that he was to go to camp three days a week. Just three. All the other days he can lounge to his heart's content and watch 20 year old men children play Minecraft and yell a lot. I get three days. Just three.  Today was the first of these days. I front loaded the situation, asked him what time he wanted to get up so that he could watch a video before going. He was all on board last night. This morning was a different story. I woke him up when I got up, just as he'd asked, and let him watch videos while I prepped tea and checked my email. Then, as soon as I got out his clothes to get him dressed, he flipped out, screaming that he couldn't go to camp. I insisted that yes, he r
Read more

So much food.

Apparently,  I need to cook pasta by the package now. When I picked Ian (10) up from day camp, they said he had eaten Ramen, two corn dogs, and an otter pop. Evan (6) had an otter pop and a quesadilla. This was not sufficient for their sustenance. Immediately upon arrival home, they asked for more food. Both got seaweed and watermelon. More food was requested. Ian got pita chips with hummus. All was well in the world. An hour later, they were hungry. I cooked half a box of pasta. Evan got noodles and sausage; I thought Ian had had enough so I prepared the rest of the pasta with turkey meatballs and tomato sauce. Ian was still hungry. Ian ate my dinner. Now, I can cook more pasta or eat chips for dinner. I'll leave that up to you to decide which option I chose. May you and yours be well or better.
Read more

so much going on

There is so much going on right now, that I don't know really how to begin. Ian, 10, is scared of martial law. Evan, 6, refuses to go to camp because he rather watch YouTube videos all day. I am tied to the news, expecting terrible things to happen any minute. I don't know how to proceed. I called a friend and my in-laws, which helped a bit. Connecting with people who love me can't hurt. But now, it's almost bedtime, and my mind reels. I don't see a clear path forward. Yesterday, I went on a bike ride. I went past the beach, which was full of people not wearing masks and not practicing social distancing. It made me sad, thinking of all the people who could get sick, but there was nothing I could do. Trying to explain the protests to my son made me cry. How do you tell a ten year old that there are bad people in the world who thwart the plans of good people and make good people look like criminals. He is scared that we won't be allowed outside. I understand his f
Read more